Orlando

I try to like Orlando. All my Disney issues aside, I really try to like it. Yesterday after taking FRD to the airport in the early morning, I headed up to the land of The Mouse. I decided to give in to the consumer buy buy buy mentality of this town and spend some time shopping for new lawyer type clothes. I thought maybe if I met Orlando on its shopping front we could come to terms. Not so.

The whole mood of I-4 changes as your enter Mouse Land. The signs by the side of the road become bigger, with blinking lights, and slide shows filled with advertisements that tell you repeatedly to "TURN NOW." The traffic also gets worse; I believe Disney hires people to clog up the roads during all times of the day, so that you have plenty of time to watch the slideshow billboards blink their insistent messages.

Since I was looking to shop, I decided to start at an outlet mall near Disney. After parking and hiking to the mall, I realized that if the mall was this crowded at 10:30, this could turn out to be a very long day. Despite the large outdoor layout, I found myself jostled and pushed as I tried to make my way in one direction or another. I can't imagine trying to navigate that crowd with another person in tow. I finally just gave up and decided to slide off the wave of people into whatever store they sent me. After catching my breath, I decided that the trip at this outlet mall would be short indeed.

I focused on the task of finding a pair of cross trainers, as my ankles have been killing me during recent step workouts (yes, La, I am working out despite being away from my workout buddies). I started at the Skechers store, but moved on quickly when the sales guy told me that all of the shoes on a particular shelf were cross trainers and I found several sport clogs on the shelf. I took a deep breath and entered the overbearing Nike store. Apparently, I decided to shop at Nike during the same time as everybody else, including three or four different tour groups from all over the world. I was jostled and pushed as boxes of shoes literally sprang from the shelves. The movement and tempo of the store was pumped up by the fast beating tempo of the music which required people to shout at each other, "Do you want these?" before chucking a box down the aisle at an unsuspecting friend or family member. Families were laden down with packages, looking disturbingly like refuges. Only these families weren't carrying all their belongings, only a days purchases in the ever increasing desire for more, more, MORE. Yes, GWB, consumerism is alive and well in the land of The Mouse.

After picking out several shoes to try on, I looked for a place to do so. No such luck. After cruising the store several time, I finally lucked into a little boy who finished just as a I passed him. I nabbed the seat and slipped into the first pair of shoes. As I stood to look in the mirror, the steady flow of people traffic allowed me to only catch the shoes in glimpses between others legs. When I turned to sit back down, a little girl slid into my seat, calling frantically, "I got a seat. MOM, I got a seat!"

Cross trainers firmly in hand, I decided to head a little farther away from Disney before trying any more shopping. I was reading the everchanging blinking billboards, watching cars weave in and out of three lanes of start and stop again traffic in an effort to get just a little bit farther, just a little bit faster, when I saw another outlet mall. Determined not to stop, I edged beyond it. But then I noticed that there was an Anne Taylor factory store. I mean, who can pass up an Anne Taylor factory store? So I decided to take the next exit. After a dizzying swirl of off or on ramps, I passed within walking distance of the right side of the mall. And then I passed to the front of the mall. And then I passed to the left of the mall. But never with the option to exit. Suddenly, I found myself swept into a toll booth, and paying fifty cents to keep on moving. It was eight miles before I found a plaza where I could turn around and then another eight miles back to the I-4 exit. Can you believe that I had to pay another fifty cents for the privilege of leaving the toll road I never wanted to be on? Does anybody know how little I like to drive?

I made it to Mike's apartment by the time he was done with work with only the cross trainers and a pair of earrings to show for my effort. We spent the evening at various car dealerships but that is another story entirely. Today, he has gone to work, and I am getting ready to head back down to Longboat Key. I was thinking though, perhaps I'll stop for a little shopping on the way.