The Last Day

Today marked the last day of classes for my first year of law school. Yes, there are still two weeks filled with finals before the year is officially over, but being done with classes so that I can concentrate on outlining and studying for those finals feels good. From the ending day, I found that I most appreciated an editorial that the Dean of the law school (also our civil procedure II professor) read to us just before the end of class. The editorial denounced the idea that high grades translate into success in life. It was moving for me, not only because I know it to be true, but because I so much appreciated him taking the time to remind us of it as we sit down to prepare for the high stakes tests that will be (for all practical purposes) the sole determination of our entire grade. I know that many believe that the structure of the high stakes tests and the rankings in law school can’t (or shouldn’t) be changed, and although I disagree, I do appreciate that the Dean of our law school is not only cognizant of the problem, but also willing to share his viewpoint with us. I felt perhaps like my third graders felt when I would shuffle them off to the ISTEP testing room, reassuring them that their performance would not be life shattering.

That said, over the next few weeks, I will likely be a hermit as I try to catch up from what has been a very emotionally draining semester for me. And while I do that, I will likely take study breaks to blog (albeit somewhat incoherently) and to read email. In fact, as I study with my laptop I am likely to check email at a ridiculously high rate. So please feel free to email me (at the gmail account). Please feel free to forward stupid jokes to me. Please feel free to send me links to good stuff. Email will be my lifeline for the next few weeks. And there is nothing worse than checking your email after twenty minutes and finding nothing new!

The Donuts

Tonight my dad was out taking pictures of the moon over Jesse Hall, when I called him with some happy news.  He realized it was nearly eleven at night and decided to stop at the gas station for Krispy Kreme Donuts. . . which are due to arrive at eleven (please don’t ask me how we know that).  As he sat for twenty minutes, waiting for the donuts to arrive, he called me from the parking lot and reported that people were driving up, looking in the window at the donut case and driving away.  Others would get out of their cars, walk around the store three or four times, stopping at each lap to gaze at the donut display case.  Apparently people only go into the gas station after eleven to buy donuts or beer.  I laughed so hard and it made me feel so good.  It is just this silly little moment, when we are all up later than we should be, getting ready to eat things that we shouldn’t, that makes me appreciate the relationship and friendship I have with my parents.  

Billie's Birthday

Billie has a birthday this week. Of course her name is not Billie anymore. And as many times as I try to reconstruct it and as good as I am with dates, I can’t quite let myself know how old she will be. I suppose for me, she will always be suspended somewhere between six and eight. Somewhere between being taken from her mother’s home, fighting, surviving the onslaught of a system that has no common sense idea of when parental rights should be terminated and being severed with finality from the teachers and substitute families that she clung to for those two years. Each year at this time, I try not to remember what the system did to Billie. (And to all of us) Instead I remember the power of Billie to cope and survive despite the atrocities of her childhood combined with the system that cut two years out of her life without every letting her say goodbye. I remember Billie's passion-defining untold story and all that it taught me. I wonder what Billie remembers?

Motherless Child
(Peter, Paul and Mary)

Sometimes I feel like a motherless child
Sometimes I feel like a motherless child
Sometimes I feel like a motherless child
A long way from home, a long way from home.
Sometimes I feel like I’m almost gone
Sometimes I feel like I’m almost gone
Sometimes I feel like I’m almost gone
A long way from home, a long way from home.
Sometimes I feel like a mournin’ dove
Sometimes I feel like a mournin’ dove
Sometimes I feel like a mournin’ dove
A long way from home, a long way from home.
Sometimes I feel like an eagle in the air
Sometimes I feel like an eagle in the air
Sometimes I feel like an eagle in the air
A long way from home, a long way from home.
Sometimes I feel like a motherless child
Sometimes I feel like a motherless child
Sometimes I feel like a motherless child
A long way from home, a long way from home.

The Rummikubs

Tonight I played rummikubs for the first time since January. I am so impatient with the time it takes to heal. Who am I kidding, I am impatient with everything. But I am not impatient with rummikubs. I just really like the process of thinking through a complex move and then being able to put it into play. I like moving the numbers around in my head and finding different solutions to combinations. I am glad to find someone else who also enjoys the game.

I am also glad that spring is here. I am a little sad that it is FREEZING in my apartment, though. There is something not right when I have to wear long underwear and a sweatshirt inside, but could go outside and wear short sleeves. Thank you, upstairs, temperature-controlling neighbors! I will survive!

The Energy

I am so filled with energy, enthusiasm, and excitement. There are so many things I am excited about that I keep meaning to write each day, and then each day slips away from me without me sharing all that is going on. So I am going to blurb it. . .stream of consciousness style.

• The movie: Tonight I saw The Lost Boys of the Sudan. Wow. I heard about it in some mass email from the jewish student organization. It was a tiny blurb, noting that the JSO was cosponsoring the film with the black cultural center. I grabbed Darryl and Sara and off we went. It was compelling. I loved it. You must see it. Shockingly, we were the only three people at the screening except for the people running the film. There are emotional, poignant moments in the movie that truly affected me. The moments that touched me the most. . . I wish that I could write about the movie in the way that could make you feel what I felt while I watched it, but my mind tonight moves so much faster than my fingers. Listening to the boys talking on the phone to each other and to their relatives in the refuge camps in Kenya. . . watching the boys learn how to work a factory job. . . seeing the boys Americanized over the course of the year. . . feeling the disappointment of the boys who thought they were coming for an education but were not supported in their pursuit of it. . .experiencing the grace of the boys as they were cut from basketball teams, their rent checks went missing, and their friends abandoned them. . . hearing the hope of the boys who wanted to return to their home and their village and install electricity after taking a correspondence course.

• The Summer: This summer I am going to intern at the Department of Elementary and Secondary Education. When I visited with them over spring break, I felt an immediate connection. It felt like me. It felt like where I want to be and what I want to be doing. I will work on various tasks from sorting through the paper work from one of the longest running desegregation cases to NCLB issues to preparing for a conference presentation on recent education case law. It is everything that I want to do. Admittedly, it is a little anxiety provoking, as a former teacher, to think that I will be spending my summer learning about the state level of education. But, it is also invigorating. This whole summer job looking process has made me realize that I came here to do something. I opened my mind to different possibilities, but now I am ready to be really re-focused on making a difference. It was amazing to be with the legal people at the state level and hear them talking about remembering that the bottom line is working on doing what is best for the kids. I am also working part time as a research assistant to earn the money required for in state tuition, so the summer will be busy, busy, busy. But, I am actually excited about the research as well. It may sound dorky, but I like research.

• The next two years: At first, I was disappointed with the choices and the scheduling and the hassle of thinking about the next two years of law school. Now I am thrilled. I thought that I couldn’t find anything that I wanted to take, but now I am really excited about the classes I am talking both in the fall and the winter. I’ve looked beyond the scheduling conflict and am really starting to think about some of the issues I will get to learn about. . . Education law. . . gender and the law. . . fair housing. . .employment discrimination. . .family law. . . constitutional law. I am getting very excited about my second year. I also found a class outside the law school called “History of U.S. Educational Policy.” I gained permission from the Dean to take the course and have emailed with the professor. Her husband is a lawyer and she thinks that I will really enjoy the course. I am always happiest when I am making my own path, when I decide what I want to do, focus, and pursue it. I am finally getting there with the law school thing. Of course, I got there through so many conversations with so many people who have been encouraging, engaging, and supportive. Thank you.

Now the only thing bothering me is that my blog toolbar has disappeared from Word. If you know how to get it back, please comment me!

The Registration Process

I am so frustrated with the registration process.  There are three classes that I want to take in the fall:  Education law, Children and the Law, and The Family Violence Clinic.  Guess what?  They all meet at the same time.  I have emailed the Dean in charge of conflicting schedules, but to no avail.  It seems to me that the same pool of people would want to take each of these classes, as they all have something to do with children and the law.  But it just doesn’t seem that there is anything they can do about it.  I know that I am just being whiny about what I want, but it really frustrates me that I can only take ONE out of THREE classes I am interested in.

I will take education law.  It is only offered every other year, so this is my only chance to take it.  Unfortunately, next year “children and the law” conflicts with “civil rights law”. . .so I will not be able to take them both.  Whine, whine, whine.  

When I read this, it makes it sound worse than it is.  I guess I just feel like I am out there trying to figure out what to take on my own.  I probably have not sought out enough guidance on the issue.  We register on Friday for fall semester and this is my plan.  Feel free to weigh in, as your opinion is probably more thought out than my own.

Education Law
Constitutional law
Professional Responsibility
Externship at the Missouri School Board Association
Gender Law